He is overcome. He stops to think before he lets it overwhelm.
An internal, irreconcilable conflict arises when he begins to contemplate notions of things he “deserves” and has a “right to” get and receive. The idea that the things he gets are just things, with no moral compass, no invisible hand to guide its distribution, feels chillingly cold to the touch; and he feels compelled to dial down his brain and turn to the TV for its sprawling, comforting narratives.
And then he thinks this thought – to brush himself off, to pick himself up again: how he deals with this, and how he reacts to this is one measure of his worth. It provides articulation to the kind of years his thirty years of life has been.
This brings him to regain his composure.