Twenty Ninth Kindling – Plus You Pay Your Taxes

bob

Yesterday, I was taking a Lyft car to the airport, and the driver was listening to the delightful local FM radio station, playing all the latest hits the kids are listening to these days. While most of the tracks failed to catch my attention, one song in particular stood out. That song, titled “Nothin’ On You” features a rapping gentlemen named Mr. B.o.B. and features a Mr. Mars, who I am not very familiar with. I was particularly interested when I heard the following verse from Mr. B.o.B.:

 

Baby you the whole package
plus you pay your taxes

 

In short, I was intrigued.

Not only was I intrigued at the lyrical technique of rhyming “package” with the word “taxes,” I was most interested in the sentiment behind this verse from Mr. B.o.B. He indicated that a key component of his dating criteria was one’s history of compliance with IRS regulations. That made me think. If he met a beautiful woman on Tinder, and she was intelligent, independent, thoughtful, kind, gorgeous, but happened to run a cash-only business in which she slightly under-reported her income, would Mr. B.o.B. suddenly think twice about courting her? And also, would he take her word for it, when he inevitably inquired about her tax liabilities? Would he demand to see her latest tax return? And would last year’s tax return be enough? What if she was a conscientious objector to Obamacare and was levied a penalty for not signing up to health care? Would his libido suddenly take an opposite turn? I had so many questions.

And then, I got curious as to what B.o.B. stood for, and here is what I found:

Shakespeare once asked, “what is in a name?” B.o.B’s name has so many definitions, but his music can best be defined by one term…exceptional.

B.o.B means different things for different situations. If you enjoy being on Cloud 9, B.o.B can stand for Bring One Blunt or Bring One Beer. About your money, then Business Over Bullsh!t is for you. Perhaps your skill is education, then B.o.B means Books Over Bullets, or if you enjoy B.o.B’s self-created production it means you have his Beats On Blast. The important thing to B.o.B is that when it comes to entertaining you, “I got everything you need when you need it. I know how to make you sing.”

For some reason, the above paragraphs were punctuated with a sentence in all caps:

AND I DON’T HAVE A JOB

I particularly enjoy Books Over Bullets, and have decided that is what B.o.B. means for me. I sincerely hope that he knows how to make me sing. So, dear friends, I ask you:

What does B.o.B mean for you?

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